i barfeds in our rink
he was CRYING into my vagina
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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