whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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