She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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