Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
