is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
