carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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