Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
