When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
