Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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