I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize