I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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