i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
