Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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