I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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