anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
