I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
