so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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