Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
