I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
