If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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