i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
