Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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