HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
