found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
