eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
is that a dick in a sweater?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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