Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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