No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
