I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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