i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
