watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
