Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
