Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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