Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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