I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
