thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
