Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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