The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
