Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
