I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
