Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
