You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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