So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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