He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize