i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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