let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
