Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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