we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
