awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
