You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
