somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
