i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Be still, my beating vagina.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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