Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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