So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
