im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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