why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
