I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
