He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
