How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
