I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
